assaults, heart-attacks and near bankruptcies: so christmas was fun!

Hello there. I trust you had a pleasant festive period?

It managed to be a good traditional affair round our way, despite some higher force trying to make it as miserable as possible or something.

Take for an example my sister-in-law’s father having a heart attack on Christmas eve. Or the further four heart attacks he’s had since. Or that company my dad works for coming a matter of hours from going bankrupt in their last day before Christmas. Or me being assaulted in the street this Tuesday night.

Oh yes. Fun fun fun.

I won’t go into lavish details on the assault, suffice to say that I was walking dear friend Teresa home after a few drinks at a local, when a stocky chap walked up behind us, commented that I was talking like I was a copper, and then proceeded to punch me in the face three or four times - knocking me to the ground – before some people had ran over to restrain him. Delightful.

They proceeded to call the police anyway, so that’s all very much in the air at the moment.

Anyway, despite such doom and gloom it was actually quite a fun few weeks. Being back working at Rescue Rooms was great fun, better than it had been when I left. This was doubly true for the inevitable New Years Eve shift, of which naturally I got very drunk, indulged in such random acts as encouraging workmates to throw glasses of water in my face, and caught up with all sorts of lovely people from my Nottingham past. All fine and dandy, until about 4am when I somehow injured my knee. I have no idea how, but it was a pain that got steadily worse over the next few hours until the point of agony - during that period after the shift when I should have been drinking myself silly along with the rest of the jovial workforce.

Bleugh. Despite the aforementioned dramas of the previous couple of days, Christmas day was actually really nice, thanks largely to the traditional format which I shall detail here:

1) Wake up
2) Attend 10 o’clock mass at Nottingham Cathedral
3) Amuse self by laughing at ill-behaved children throughout
4) Pub. Give out presents. Obviously everybody loved their gifts from me because I am an AWESOME present buyer
5) Home. Videogames with family
6) Christmas dinner. Consume until clinically obese.
7) Videogames again. Become upset at losing a game to my brother who’s played it roughly 20% as much as I have.
8) A big family game of Trivial Pursuits. Become upset because the Genius Edition doesn’t feature enough questions about 90’s pop music.
9) Bed. Probably last because everybody else long-since fallen in to drunken slumber.

Ahhhh. That was Christmas then. It’s what Jesus would have wanted, no?