Sunday, December 17, 2006

mark is away

Going home for Christmas today then.

It's an odd place. You don't get woken up at 4am by drunks passing by your flat, the street's are seldom covered with sporadic patches of vomit, and - most bizarrely - they haven't even got the internet yet.

Bizarre notion I know. But as a consequence, I'll be taking a couple of weeks holiday from the whole blogging thing. Tune back in January to see if dad really did get his hand stuck up the turkey, if my brother drank too much sherry at new year and came on to a distant relative, and if my mum farted again and blamed it on the dog. Which would work one hell of a lot better if we had ever had a dog. Or any pets for that matter.

Merry Christmas everybody!
Mark x

Saturday, December 16, 2006

the christmas blog

I'm feeling festive today, I have to admit.

Last night was set up to be something of a big deal: we were off to The Warehouse Project to see Zane Lowe's Hope Taping Tour.

The night didn't start well. It was a wet night and, following a spate of bickering with the guys, I was stupid enough to fall on my arse while walking across some cobble stones. I wouldn't realise for another 2 hours, but my debit card, drivers licence and University ID card all fell out at the same time.

When we got in the warehouse and I realised, a frantic search was followed by me calling up Natwest to cancel my card (makes me glad at least that I was geeky enough to save the 24-hour emergency number in my phone ages ago). I wondered back inside to join in the fun, where Simian Mobile Disco were doing a good disco set. In good time The Futureheads came on to do an appropriately short, but also pretty dull, headline set. The three or four well known singles got me dancing, but it wasn't enough to get me out of what by then was a pretty foul mood.

Wasn't it a joy and a relief therefore, when 5 minutes into Zane Lowe's DJ set it became very clear that it was to be something very special indeed. It was without question the most intelligently constructed, finely executed DJ set I've ever witnessed. Just about every track was a masterful selection, as he cut and spliced them in to each other with breathless pace and often ingenious results.

Mmmm, thanks Zane. On the way home I took a detour to see if I could find my missing cards amongst the aforementioned cobbled stones. I found my now useless bank card, but there was no sign of the others, somewhat ironically.

simon saves christmas

So today I headed into town at 4 o'clock to do my Christmas shopping. Wouldn't normally do it on a Saturday, but Manchester's shops stay open until 8, so there was plenty of time to wonder about in fairly quiet surroundings. There was though, the problem of having no access to money after last night. Luckily Simon said he could meet me in town to give me the £67 he owes me for various tickets over the last few weeks.

3 hours later, and that was Christmas shopping 2006 done with. I reckon I've done pretty well this year too, which is nice. The other thing about having no money is that even if Gamestation pull their fingers out their bottoms and get my i-pre-ordered-it-ages-ago Wii console in stock, I won't actually be able to buy it. Not that they actually will, I go home tomorrow. It's looking like I'll have to get the train back to Manchester next week for a day to pick it up. The hairy pig swill drinking mongooses.

christmas in the muldoon household

It should be a weird one this year, namely because the small company my dad has worked for the last God-knows-how-many-years, and that he happens to own 20% of, is about 2.4 centimeters from going bankrupt. As a consequence, it's going to be a pretty lean Christmas.

And on that note, I'm going to remove my plump cinnamon flavoured head from my festively seasoned arsehole. Gosh, to think my poor middle-class fingers and toes might come briefly close to getting a couple of degrees colder then I would perhaps wish this yuletide.

Meh. This was my Christmas 2006 blog. And to you I say: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

i have never...

Based on the popular and excellent drinking game.

I have never...

...bungee jumped
...been in a helicopter
...seen a Terminator movie
...been to Scotland
...taken a class A drug
...enjoyed a Christina Aguilera song
...liked my hair
...smoked a cigarette
...brought anything from Starbucks
...played Pro Evolution Soccer
...dated anybody non-white
...disliked ITVs program output more
...given a homeless person on the street some money
...felt poverty-stricken
...felt truly at ease in the company of a gay guy
...been in an Ikea store
...been in a casino

Friday, December 15, 2006

current fun things

statistics are fun

So a couple of days ago I found out a fun blog fact. Somebody somewhere Goggled ‘Abduls Kebab’ the other day, and becauseI posted a blog once about the fast food chain, he then clicked on to my blog, which I find out is now the 7th result Google gives you when you conduct that search. Which seems a bit mental really.You’ll have to excuse me that such geeky stuff gets me excited.

2007 should be fun

I’ve been going through a flurry of ticket buying for next year lately. It’s shaping up to be pretty damn good, as so far I’m off to see in Manchester: Ricky Gervais, Damien Rice and The Feeling at the Apollo, Razorlight at the Arena (standing tickets too, yippee), Little Man Tate at the Academy, and Stephen Fretwell at the Northern College of Music. All very very exciting. Especially Gervais and Rice, oh yes. I imagine they will be special.

rescue rooms is fun

I’m back working in Nottingham over Christmas, and I’ve put myself down for these shifts at Rescue Rooms next week: Tuesday (19th), Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. I’ll definitely get that Saturday shift, probably the Friday one and hopefully the other two as well, so yeah come in and visit me Nottingham people. ‘bout time we caught up. (text me beforehand if you want to be doubly sure, mm?)

essays are defiantly not fun

Seriously, I know we all suffer from last minute essay panic every once in a while, but trust me, you haven’t ever had it as bad as this. Unless I'm freakishly mistaken, I just handed in the worst assignment of my uni career. And trust me, I turned in some real crap in first year. It's almost as if I want to screw up my final year. Which I don't. Gah.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

readers comments 2

the blog has been getting loads of comments recently, thanks for them all – they're always very much appreciated. Indeed, it's probably about time I dug some of them up for a proper replying to...

Speaking of my Top 10 Singles of 2006, Paul, 29, from
Luton wrote

ive only heard one (of the ten)!
have i been living in a cave?
is it you that has obscure taste in music or you?

Paul are you trying to tell me that this year you haven't heard both of these two tracks: Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancing and Muse - Starlight this year? Really?

Anyway, either way go and find Little Man Tate - House Party At Boothey's, and proceed to rub it all over your face in gleeful joy.

Minutes later Julie, 19, from Stowbridge, Kent wrote

numbers 1 and 10 - yes I agree, fabulous
6 the most dreadful song of 2006 (or possibly the decade)
Where is Crystal Ball by Keane or indeed anything by the Kooks or Suzie by boykillboy....?

Those who do not appreciate that Scissor Sisters track have CLEARLY never been drunk in a club dancing to it. It's far and away the best song they've done. If Keane were going to make it into this list it would've been the sublime Nothing In My Way. I might've included Boykillboy on the list, but to be honest I'd rather stamp on each individual band member's throat. Because they're appalling. And probably smell a bit funny.

On an entirely different subject, Krystina, 34, from Swansea wrote

I can't say I'm amused so much by the video, as by the fact you're listening to the Lion King soundtrack.

Yes Krystina. And damn special it was too.

Helen, 14 and a half, from County Wexford wrote

hey hey hey dont give up on marketing my dearest muldoon! once u have a yrs experience behind ya u can come to my agency and i can get u a new job! its what i do u know!

Helen, in time I feel you may become my favourite person ever. Any chance you could sort me out job job wise without this niggling 'experience' thing getting in the way first? Hmm? Come on, you and me go way back.

Lucy, 10, from Clydesnoch near Dundee wrote

mark, is that a dunlop hip flask... odd.

Yes I thought it strange too. Sadly there's just no room to be brand-conscious in random Ebay purchases.

Right, then came my blog a couple of days ago, asking if any of you lot had any skills in dream interpretations. Instead came a response from Parthena, 50, from Oklahoma, who'd clearly been indulging in the joys of blog search engines

Dream One ~

Bridges usually connect two places, but they can be rickety and dangerous. You can fall off or the bridge can collapse. You are "unable to control yourself" - I take this to mean stumbling, correct? You are trying to get from one place to another but may not make it because you've lost your foundation, your bearings. Then you're attacked. In waking life, where are you trying to go that is difficult for you, that you don't feel you have the strength or stability to get to? Bridges can also symbolize the journey from one world to another - such as the spiritual world.

Dream Two:

Is a bouncer the same in your culture as ours? Basically, someone to keep out the unruly hooligans? You are being offered an opportunity but you don't feel right about it. You are carrying what might be an illegal substance. This would represent your conscience - are you being asked to do something in waking life that is against your set of personal ethics, values or conscience? You may need to stand up to this person and say "No" even if there's a risk involved. You may be simply considering such a thing, or it may be on the horizon.

Dreams speak in a symbolic language and often make no sense; i.e., the jacket, stream, etc. Water or a stream can represent the emotions; a stream is a moving body of water, again, movement here. You hear sirens and being chased, running from something. The police symbolize societal values and conscience, you're busted. Not only that, you're put out of commission altogether by the tranquilizer dart.

These two dreams seem to be related to the same issue - this is common and this is why it's a good idea to write them down. What issue might you be struggling with in your waking life? Seems like a signal from your unconscious and conscience to consider things carefully before proceeding - maybe even to stop altogether. The advancement may not be worth the journey.

If you have a reply, please message me and let me know. That blog notification thingamagig does not work properly and subscribing to blogs doesn't help me. It won't show that there's a new comment, only a new blog.



Very interesting stuff I have to say, bless her.

Amy, 27, from Belgium then wrote

maybe its just your subconscious telling you to stay away from drugs!

Amy learns comic timing. Amazing!

Thanks for the comments guys x

Saturday, December 09, 2006

is there a dream interpreter in the house?

Think I may need one. Allow me to recount the last two dreams I remember having.

Dream One - Last Week

I'd been on a night out in Nottingham at Stealth. It was a fun relaxed evening, so I'd decided to experiment a little by taking a pill of something or other.

Cut to later on, and I'm stumbling home unable to control myself. I'm walking over Trent Bridge falling about all over the place. On the final stretch home, two guys approach me, kick me to the floor and mug me, then running off.

At this point, I woke up.

Dream Two - Last Night

I've finished work at Rescue Rooms, and a couple of the bouncers (one of which is Kev, can't remember the other one) ask if they can have a word. They take me aside, and suggest that they might have a bit of extra work they can throw my way. They want me to deliver a small white container to some place in south Nottingham the next afternoon.

They pass me the white container. I peer inside, it's full of a fine white powdery substance. I have my misgivings about the idea, but they then proceed to offer me £15 (!) for the job, and so I accept.

Cut to the next day, and I'm jumping across the stream behind my old school's playing field, with the container in my jacket pocket (there's problems here. First: I don't currently own a jacket, and second: there is no stream behind my school's playing field. Just a whopping big dual-carriageway). The two bouncers are ahead of me shouting at me to hurry up. At this point, I hear something behind me in the distance. The sound of sirens. I look around and sure enough, a big police van is racing over the moor-ish land towards me. I run, but it's no good. As they get closer and closer I chuck the container in the stream. The bouncers have managed to run off. The police shoot a tranquiliser dart in my leg.

At this point, I woke up.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

my top 10 singles of 2006

The Top 10 Singles of 2006. you can disagree with me if you like, but you'd be wrong.

1. Liam Frost & The Slowdown Family - Mourners of St. Pauls
2. Little Man Tate - House Party at Boothey's
3. The Pipettes - Pull Shapes
4. Starsailor - This Time
5. Muse - Starlight
6. Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
7. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Gold Lion
8. Thom Yorke - Harrowdown Hill
9. Robbie Williams - Sin Sin Sin
10. Captain - Glorious

They're all worth seeking out if you're unfamilar with them. Mmm hmm.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

observation of the day

Only just noticed this today, but number keypads are rubbish.

They're upside down depending on what you're using. On phones, cash machines: the top left number is 1. Keyboards and Calculators however: it's 7. Which prat is responsible for that? Makes no sense, at all.

This blog post was brought to you by an overtly geeky feeling Mark. He offers you his apologies.

Monday, December 04, 2006

blog where mark goes all dolly parton on you

This time last week I had made a pledge to myself. Faced with the need to knuckle down and make real progress with all those lovely final year assignments, I decided that I was going to try and go 9 – 5 all week, working beaverishly to get some of this mountain of work done.

Long term readers of the blog (hello indeed to both of you) will recall me asking how people had got the strength of mind to get their work done in these situations. First thing I learnt from the exercise?

1) I cannot work at home.

Seriously, there are just too many distractions. Be it flicking around Teletext, eating bowls of cereal, taking overlong showers or organising the DVD collection first by genre and then alphabetically (yeah, I know, true story), I’m unable to resist the continuous distractions my flat offers.

So the idea for last week was thus: wake up early, get into Uni for 9 o’clock. Work like bitch until 5pm, breaking only for lunch and to occasionally catch up with pretty coursemates.

And what a wonderful praise-worthy success it turned out to be. If, by ‘success’, you meant to say ‘abject failure’. And by ‘wonderful’, you in fact meant ‘horrific’. And by ‘praise-worthy’ you actually meant ‘bottom jolting’.

It started off with a good, strong intention. It’s a Sunday night, it’s 11 o’clock, I’m fairly tired. I’ll just swallow a couple of these herbal sleeping tablet things I brought and go to bed in an hour. Which I did do. It turns out sleep was not as forthcoming as I’d hoped though.

4am. That’s when I got to sleep. Four hours of struggling to get to sleep, trying every method in the book with no success.

Even worse, this was the case for the next three nights. Horrifically, 2 and a half hours was the least amount of time it took me to get to sleep over those four nights. Thursday night was better. After a heavy night out, we got in at half three in the morning, and I was asleep within 20 minutes.

This is not a healthy situation to be in is it? The only way for me to get a good nights sleep is to drink like a fish beforehand.

So as you might have guessed, the 9 – 5 plan didn’t really work out. I’m trying the same thing again this week anyway. Banging my head against the wall until I’m sprawled out unconscious on my floor has not yet been ruled out as a falling sleeping method.