Monday, January 29, 2007

reader's comments 3: bono special

So the responses came flooding (ish) in as I asked people what their problem was with lewd U2 frontman and celebrity hat wearer Bono.

Paul, 47, from Brighton said:

no comment

well yeh, i f***in hate him, and his s**t ass music

Concise, I like it. Meanwhile Daniel Sunderland, 16, from Birmingham said:

yes you have got it wrong, he is in fact a c**t!

Charming. Anybody seeing a pattern emerge here? Reasoned arguments was what we were looking for.

Rachel, 25, from Derby or somewhere said:

Stop bumming Bono. He is a big poo.

Great. Cheers.

Although to be fair, she did come up with some pretty good arguments during a Strategic Marketing Management lecture that I've since forgotten. Serves her right for having an annoying face, I reckon.

Helen, 19 and a half, from Iilkley Moor
Baht'at, said:

At least he is doing something eh, as u said he is in a position to have people hear him how ever diverse the reaction is - he is getting a reaction which is better then most of us can do

Nice to know somebody's agreeing with me. Cheers Helen.

And Adolf, 118, from Austria wrote:

It's arrogant hypocrisy that irritates me with celebs like Bono, who make their money from indirectly contributing to global warming. CDs are harmful to the environment and how do U2 get to their gigs - their own private jet.

When in a position of influence, the Bonos berate the system that got them there and demand more from fans to restore the ecological balance. Come on!

CDs are harmful to the environment? What kind of idealistic world are you floating around in?

Okay, Bono doesn't come across as particularly anti-capitalist, it would be preposterous if he was. I suspect he thinks - like me - that capitalism would work fine with just a bit more political intervention. Hence why causes such as Live 8 and The Big Ask are worth supporting.

I dunno, I respect a man's right to be successful and make money off his own talent and skill, and with Bono's position he will have got important messages out far further than if he was just a political-activist type knocking about Dublin-town. Without ever being a particular fan of his music, I believe the world would've been a worse place without him.

Thanks for the sexy comments guys! x

Saturday, January 27, 2007

attn celebrities: don't go on reality tv

So that Jo O'Meara was thrown out of Celebrity Big Brother last night I see. As she's busy getting metaphorical eggs and rotten vegetables thrown at her, it's probably worth somebody mentioning to musicians that going on Reality TV in an attempt to save your music career is a bloody stupid idea.

Have people not realised what a lose/lose situation they turn out to be? Such shows condemn you to the pump em' and dump em' merry-go-round the media creates. Gareth Gates, Matt Willis and Mark Owen amongst others have discovered that the media-spotlight moves on at breakneck speed.

Going on such shows is a nonsensical gamble. If you come across badly, it's career over. If you come across well, one single will succeed, and then it's career over. Perhaps the one success story of a musician going on Reality TV is that irritable prat Preston from The Ordinary Boys. Goes on as a relative unknown with no chance of a station like Radio 1 ever playing his music again. comes out everybody in the UK knowing him. A year later, their current single has been the top category of the Radio 1 Playlist for the last three odd weeks. All very good, except for the fact that their album languishes at No. 37 in the chart.

And that's the best case scenario of putting your career in the hands of Reality TV, people. Take this advice instead, and retire from the industry with your dignity in tact, hmm?

Monday, January 22, 2007

you hate bono because you are an idiot

Why do so many people hate Bono? Observe this example: in Planet Sound's (the music mag I read) end of year poll, he was voted 2nd in 2006's Biggest Fool category, which placed him just behind Pete Doherty.

And I just don't get what you grotesque moths have a problem with. The way I see it, he's a sporadically good music writer, who also wants to make a shiny nice difference to the world around him. He's been given a position where a lot of people will listen to what he says, and he's decided he wants to do use it for good. Can I ask, what is your problem with that, guy?

One lewd notion thrown at me was that in asking people to save the world's hungers he is mega-hypocritical. It's a view I can understand people having, but (and i'm not absolutely sure here) I believe it came out a few years ago - against the band's wishes - that they for a long time now had given 20% of their earnings straight to charity.

So from my cider-induced point of view Bono appears thus:
  • not hypocritical
  • not egotistical
  • willing to take huge flack for being this hypocritical person and just not caring about it
  • simply trying his best to do what he can during his time on the planet, despite the fact that it makes large cynical swathes of the population think he's a pretentious eijit.
Have I got this one really really wrong or something? Somebody clue me in on what i'm missing here. Apart from personal hygiene thanks, you flagrant outspoken frog spawn.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

what i had for dinner tonight

Oh yes. That's an exciting title for a blog if ever I saw one. Anyway, I had a salad. Not unusual for me, I would just pick up a bag of Caesar Salad from the shops on the way home, chuck a couple of extras in to the mix, and eat. Except this time I went a bit over the top, and added four new elements to what is already a sizable meal: Potato wedges, A diced up pepper, peas, and ham (mustard dry cure ham, meat fans).

Due perhaps in part to the fact I was being distracted by listening to the Scott Mills podcast, I maybe cooked off a bit too much of said ingredients, thus resulting in this here excessively busy plate:

And here it is from the side, helpfully placed next to a £10 note to help with size perception:

Still ate it all though, and very nice it was too.

My flatmates have come to refer to such meals as 'Fat B****rd Dinners', charmingly. Other such ones include: Whole 14 inch Veggie-lover Pizzas, Sausage & Bacon Sandwiches (totaling four sausages and four bacon rashes each time), and my daily breakfast of four Weetabix. But that's okay since they started making them about a third of their original size, right?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

wind and big brother

So wind, eh? 20 minutes into a two hour lecture, and we hear that the building is being evacuated because it is unsafe to be in during such strong weather. Which may or may not have something to do with the building site and big tall cranes just across the road. Walking home then, it's half three in the afternoon, and every road is gridlocked. Utterly bizarre.

The best thing though was the walk home where I occasionally wasn't having to put in any effort into walking whatsoever, the wind just carrying me along instead. Wish my daily commute was like that every day.

It's weird how a city so used to wind and rain has been brought to it's knees because of the stuff.

so big brother then

I've resisted the urge to post a big long blog about whats going on in that house, but I will say this: I like it. The thing I like about big brother is that it will sometimes be about big issues, instead of the light fluffy approach every other such program follows. Ideally Big Brother should be about holding a mirror up to society's face, and showing how it currently is.

So it was nice, if obviously unsurprising, to read this comment from Channel 4 CEO Andy Duncan today:

"The debate has been heated, the viewing has at times been uncomfortable but, in my view, it is unquestionably a good thing that the programme has raised these issues and provoked such a debate. These attitudes, however distasteful, do persist – we need to confront that truth.

In the last 25 years Channel 4 has undoubtedly played a major role as a broadcaster to inform and educate viewers about issues of race. This is a role that I intend Channel 4 to continue playing."

Which I agree with.

Stay inside everybody x

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

we visited tiger tiger last night

So we went to Tiger Tiger last night, and it turned out to be a surprisingly good night. Nicely varied and attracts a friendly fun crowd, I thought. Naturally most of the drinks are prohibitively expensive, except for double Smirnoff and Red Bulls (a very reasonable £2) and - I found out after four helpings of said vodka drink - pints of Amstel (also £2).

There was no chance I was going to switch back to beer after I'd started on the spirits, so I stuck with them all night. I considered the consequences of getting drunk (being hungover in uni the next morning, making a prat of myself etc), but sadly forgot about the potential result of so much energy drink. Which will explain why when I got to bed at half 3 it took me an hour and a half to get to sleep. The majority of which (probably quite thankfully) I can't remember.

I then woke up at half 7 this morning in order to get to Uni for 9 o'clock. And all through the first lecture and tutorial I'm still drunk. And after just two and a half hours sleep, pretty delirious too.

Remember kids: alcohol isn't big or clever.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

new least favourite song of all time

The Ordinary Boys - I Love You.

Isn't it just the most horrific piece of music ever? From the awful lyrics, to the fact his stupid voice can't handle the big long notes, all topped off by an irritating trying-too-hard-to-be-smiley-pop-music tune. It's a special shame because 9 to 5 and Boys Will Be Boys were pretty good pop songs, really.

Anyway, the song supersedes Christina Aguilera - Dirty as my new least favourite song of all time. Well done to it.

Honorary mentions in this category also go to Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up and Robbie Williams - Tripping.

Friday, January 12, 2007

internet perverts are fun!

So how many of you have had your blogs quoted by the BBC Manchester Blog? Few if any, I'd imagine. Internet fame clearly doesn't get any better than this, people.

the quest for internet fame

That doesn't - of course - make it less worthwhile trying. A vital step on the path to becoming an internet celebrity is, you may not be aware, the first time somebody subscribes to your video channel on Youtube. It means that somebody has enjoyed your videos to date, taken the opinion that you are something of a hot property in the internet video world, and wants to receive an alert the very moment you should upload your next miniature classic. Youtube even emails you offering it's congratulations when such an event takes place.

You can imagine my disappointment therefore, when I logged on to see who this pioneer of internet video subscribing was. I took a quick flick through the videos he's favourited, and it appears he's got something of a 'specialist interest' for the particularly strong women.

Highlights include 'Lara Flexing Her Biceps', 'strong japan girl lifting man' and 'THE GIRL WITH HIDDEN ARM STRENGTH vs ONE OF THE GUYS'

I feel bad for contributing titillation to such sick filth.

Still, that's not going to stop the new Youtube video I'm posting tomorrow: 'Big Barbra punches skinny british student indie boy in face'

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Hello. Have you thought about if you're going to be trying for Glastonbury tickets this year?

Tickets go on sale Sunday 1st April at 9am. Saturday 23rd June is the actual weekend of the festival. BUT if you want to try for tickets you'll have to pre-register your interest during February either online or in branches of Millets. So start thinking about the idea now, perhaps? All the lewd details are at so go over and have a read.

Clues as to who will play are pretty damn sketchy, but strong rumours so far suggest Kasabian, Razorlight, Scissor Sisters, Chemical Brothers, The Police, John Fogerty and Genesis.

I'm keen to avoid the rubbish situation I found myself in at the 2005 festival. Around this time two years ago me and my friends Kat, Dave and Claire decided we would go together. Because you can only buy two per person, I would get tickets for me and Claire, and Kat would get tickets for her and Dave. Perfect. Except that on the morning tickets went on sale I was on the website hitting F5 about every 20 seconds trying to secure a pair, and Kat was in London trying for tickets on the phone lines. Where several hundred thousand people were trying to get through to what was apparently 100 call center workers.

I managed to get tickets, but Kat didn't, as was the case for the handful of other people I knew who were trying. A couple of weeks later Claire had changed her mind about going - it was going to clash with some wedding or something - so I was faced with the decision of either not going, or going to the thing by my wee self.

It didn't pan out quite like that. Turns out I vaguely knew some people who I would spend much time hanging around with throughout the weekend, and it actually turned out to be the most enjoyable one out of the three I've attended. But hey, it'd be good to be there in force this year, and so I find myself following the advice the Cub Scout gave to the animals entering Noah's Ark: Be Prepared.

Aye. It's part of whats looking to become a sickeningly exciting June. In the space of that month I will:

- Finish uni for ever
- Hopefully go to Glastonbury
- Go on my brother's stag weekend

Oh ho. So yes, fancy Glastonbury this year?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

statistics are fun

Non-interesting fact: if somebody Googles something in which my blog is among the results, and they then click through to the blog, I get to see the Google results page they came from. Which can be fun if you're as sad as me. Anyway as such, here are the last 30 Google searches to result in somebody visiting this blog:

manchester videoblog
channel 4 teletext planet sound myspace
warehouse project tour zane lowe review
simon amstell
"crap library job"
abdul's waking dream
abduls kebab house manchester
Liam Frost
free oatabix
who's my true friend myspace bulletin
jo whiley
"dunlop hip flask"
mark muldoon manchester
loreal men expert hydra energy review
mark muldoon
liam frost teletext interview
horrific plane crashes
manchester scenes in wet
l'oreal men expert renovator review
nightclub tenerife 2006
simon amstell
things to do in manchester with no money
piccadilly nhs walk in sexually
Not-made-from-wheat--made-from Oats-instead-abix
myspace/my scene
what is being 7 balled

The man searching for info on Leathermen must have been pretty disappointed. I also like the idea that the person searching for the Zane Lowe tour review might of been the man himself. And I would LOVE to know what the person googling 'manchester scenes in wet' was thinking about.

Mm hmm. Humour me people.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

a girl i met

Urgh. Just had a bad memory from being at work over Christmas.

So I found myself behind the bar over the festive period and attempting flirtatious conversation with a customer. A challenge in itself, you might imagine. But there’s one question she asked in the middle of it all that really put my gussets in a swirl:

“Give me three interesting facts about yourself”

Oh Christ, how the hell am I supposed to answer that? I stumbled over the question for a good couple of minutes, before she thought she’d be kind and help out by giving me the three facts she would name for her. All well and good, except she then proceeded to trot out a slew of mega-impressive feats such as having bungee-jumped, skydived, white-water rafted down the Mississippi, pole-vaulted over the Niagara Falls, being one of the people who brought down the Berlin Wall, and being widely credited with ending famine in Africa.

Okay so maybe they weren’t quite as ludicrously impressive, but for what I was managing to come up with they may as well have been. An hour later (!) and I’ve thought of:

1) I’ve been on Radio 1 a few times
2) Pete Doherty once said hi to me
3) I’ve sky-dived myself, like.

Sadly I didn’t get to impart these, as by then she was presumably off talking to some boy with indie hair or something.

Meh. Incidentally though, it’s also a fun story how I got into conversation with this girl. It went like thus:

Her: “Are you working here tomorrow?”
Me: “Nah, I’m not working much actually, I’m just back for a few shifts before returning to uni”
Her: ”Oh, where do you go to?”
Me: “Manchester Met”
Her: “Oh God, me too”
Me: “Oh wow, where abouts do you live?”
Her: “Fallowfield. You?”
Me: “Victoria Park. In Daisybank Villas.”
Her: (taken aback) “Oh wow. Okay weird question, but did a guy called Matt come knocking on your flat one time cos he’d lost his door?”

Long term readers of this blog will understand how I now rate that conversation as one of the greatest I’ve ever had. She’s a coursemate of our flatmate Matt anyway, who had seen said Youtube video as it was circulated around everybody on their course.

Special times. Makes it all the more of a shame I’m socially incompetent I guess, right?

Friday, January 05, 2007

blog where i post my thoughts on the new big brother

Yeah so it’s back.

Having given up watching the show religiously after series three, I still traditionally always watch the first night of each series. This round of the Celebrity version was no different.

It’s nice to know the production company - Endemol - have abandoned all pretense of caring about the well-being of their housemates for this year. Davina using the random facts about housemates to make sly little digs being the major clue that this time round they’re more than happy to fuel the circus of hate that builds up around certain housemates.

And that’s before mention of the horrific baying-for-blood crowd that - amongst other delights - will boo any woman who’s done so much as hurt a fly in her past, while cheering men who are basically downright awful examples of human beings.

(Examples? While I don’t claim she’s the model of human loveliness, the hate aimed Grace’s way last summer was horrible to observe. Compare her to a couple of far worse male equivalents: the practically celebrated horseman John McCririck and that dreadful Ahmed from series five)

Urgh. The public are so rubbish sometimes.

To change tack slightly, people seem to be jumping on that Towers-of-London rock-star chap though, Donny Tourette. Faking the rock-star excesses, or something.

Let me tell you, I reckon he’s the real deal. I say that because near the start of last year, I was serving them at Rescue Rooms after they had supported All-American Rejects at Rock City. An hour into such fun I had to stop the four of them having piggy back wars in the centre of the bar, because they were inadvertently kicking customers in the process.

Yeah, so I think he’s for real. Play nice please, British public.

assaults, heart-attacks and near bankruptcies: so christmas was fun!

Hello there. I trust you had a pleasant festive period?

It managed to be a good traditional affair round our way, despite some higher force trying to make it as miserable as possible or something.

Take for an example my sister-in-law’s father having a heart attack on Christmas eve. Or the further four heart attacks he’s had since. Or that company my dad works for coming a matter of hours from going bankrupt in their last day before Christmas. Or me being assaulted in the street this Tuesday night.

Oh yes. Fun fun fun.

I won’t go into lavish details on the assault, suffice to say that I was walking dear friend Teresa home after a few drinks at a local, when a stocky chap walked up behind us, commented that I was talking like I was a copper, and then proceeded to punch me in the face three or four times - knocking me to the ground – before some people had ran over to restrain him. Delightful.

They proceeded to call the police anyway, so that’s all very much in the air at the moment.

Anyway, despite such doom and gloom it was actually quite a fun few weeks. Being back working at Rescue Rooms was great fun, better than it had been when I left. This was doubly true for the inevitable New Years Eve shift, of which naturally I got very drunk, indulged in such random acts as encouraging workmates to throw glasses of water in my face, and caught up with all sorts of lovely people from my Nottingham past. All fine and dandy, until about 4am when I somehow injured my knee. I have no idea how, but it was a pain that got steadily worse over the next few hours until the point of agony - during that period after the shift when I should have been drinking myself silly along with the rest of the jovial workforce.

Bleugh. Despite the aforementioned dramas of the previous couple of days, Christmas day was actually really nice, thanks largely to the traditional format which I shall detail here:

1) Wake up
2) Attend 10 o’clock mass at Nottingham Cathedral
3) Amuse self by laughing at ill-behaved children throughout
4) Pub. Give out presents. Obviously everybody loved their gifts from me because I am an AWESOME present buyer
5) Home. Videogames with family
6) Christmas dinner. Consume until clinically obese.
7) Videogames again. Become upset at losing a game to my brother who’s played it roughly 20% as much as I have.
8) A big family game of Trivial Pursuits. Become upset because the Genius Edition doesn’t feature enough questions about 90’s pop music.
9) Bed. Probably last because everybody else long-since fallen in to drunken slumber.

Ahhhh. That was Christmas then. It’s what Jesus would have wanted, no?