I'm an idiot. I recently spent a full 60 seconds trying to remember what side of the road people drive on in Britain. Having just written that sentence, I've now been struggling to remember which side of the road is used in India, where I've been travelling for six weeks now.
There is a more impressive example of my advanced idiocy though. In the northern city Amritsar, I leave my bank card in the ATM (British readers! That's the crazy name they have for cash machines in this country!) and walk off. Several hours later I'm confused when I can't find it. I head back, and there's no card, but a sign says that any swallowed bank cards will be returned to the nearest branch.
It's Saturday night, so I resign myself to the fact that I will have to stay in town until Monday to see if the card is safe. I tell pathetic lies in emails and Facebook messages to friends, saying I'm stuck here because an ATM has cruelly swallowed my debit card.
Monday comes, I walk to the branch and... It's closed. Public holiday, I eventually work out. Tuesday comes, and I get told to return the following morning with my passport, and they'll have my card. Wednesday comes, and it's a relaxed, conversational atmosphere as I'm sitting at a desk, signing paperwork to get my card back. I pop my passport back in my bag, wish everybody well and leave relieved. Five minutes later I turn around and start walking back again. I walk into the bank once more and five employees are in fits of laughter. I pick my bank card up off the desk and walk out again.
I'm surprised I haven't absentmindedly stabbed myself in the eye with a biro yet.