a modern midnight conversation

We leave Shepherd's Bush Empire quite late on a weeknight. Simon suggests having a pint at the pub. I want to get home soon, so suggest we buy two bottles and drink on the tube. In the shop, Simon wants to buy lager. I want to buy Bulmers Raspberry and Lime flavour. It's new and looks interesting. I get my way.

On the platform in Shepherd's Bush station, we open our bottles. Five minutes later an announcement comes over the tannoy system.

"Passengers are advised that the consumption of alcohol is prohibited across the entire London Underground Network"

I look at Simon, laugh to myself, and rest my bottle in my bag.

"Passengers are advised that the consumption of alcohol, or carrying of an open container of alcohol, is prohibited across the entire London Underground Network"

I down what's left of my drink and put the bottle back in my bag. Simon hides behind the corner and attempts to neck half a bottle. At this point the help point next to us crackles into life.

"We can still see you."

"What on earth? Where? Oh. We're finishing them as fast as we can"

Simon panics. Tries to drink faster.

"What are you drinking anyway? Looks disgusting."

We hear several people in the control room laughing.

"It was Simon's choice, not mine."

"Well just remember, big brother is always watching."

We all laugh. Thanks TfL, love you.