the muldoon guide to glastonbury: tips and advice and that

If my guesswork is to be believed, on Friday morning the full line-up for this years Glastonbury will finally be revealed. This is probably a time therefore, that people will really start thinking about their plan for the festival. With that in mind, I present this: 8 nice logical tips for enjoying a trip to Glastonbury, that you probably wouldn't have read elsewhere.

1. See lots but not all. It's a huge festival, and having been three times I still don't feel I've seen all there is on offer. That's not to say you necessarily have to, but it's worthwhile take some time to explore such wonders as the Lost Vagueness and Green Fields.
2. Toilet-wise, the long-drops are infinitely preferable to portaloos. All you may wish to do is make sure you don't breath through your nose for the duration of your stopoff. Trust me though, they are better toilets. And it makes it worthwhile camping in the northern fields as you won't have to ever wait longer than 60 seconds to use one of them.
3. Consider buying a 2nd battery for your mobile cheap off ebay or somewhere. It is possible to recharge at the festival, but be prepared to wait ages, or go whilst everybody else is off seeing one of the huge bands. I brought a 2nd battery in 2004, brought both fully charged along to the festival, and it meant my phone easily lasted the duration.
4. Wine is probably best, alcohol-wise. Red wine makes more sense too, as it doesn't matter if you're drinking it warm. Buy a box of the stuff (glass isn't allowed on site, remember), and maybe pour out a water bottle of the stuff for youself when you're setting off around the site.
5. Visit the Silent Disco, which is to be a permanent fixture of this year's festival. It's a surreal tent where everybody has a set of radio-headphones, and you're free to tune between either of two DJs, resulting in occasions where half of the crowd is dancing to Eric Prydz, and the other to Sweet Child of Mine or something.
6. Don't complain the festival isn't as good as it used to be. Glastonbury has always been unique, but how it used to be run simply wasn't sustainable for any longer. The festival has had to modernise a lot over the last 10 years, but it's still a special, magical place. If you're spending it moaning about the good old days, your ethos probably isn't right for the place anyway.
7. Don't let anybody tell you how to do it. Stupid, pretentious types will gawp at you for not wanting to see The Who headline, whilst even more pretentious types will tell you Glastonbury is not about the music and that you should spend the whole time taking drugs and talking to monkey-keepers in the stone circle or something. Ignore both. Glastonbury is a huge festival, but it's special because it is genuinely something for everyone. If you want to spend all your time watching your favourite bands at the Pyramid stage, from Kaiser Chiefs to The Pipettes, then do. If you want to spend it in the Dance Village or the Circus, Fire or Teepee fields then do as well. And don't let anybody tell you that you shouldn't.
   I made this mistake in 2004, when I watched Paul McCartney headline instead of enjoying Basement Jaxx on the other stage. Whilst McCartney's set was probably quite good, I spent the whole time just bored chatting away, only recognising about four of the songs he played. Wish I'd seen Basement Jaxx now.
   
8. That said, see Arcade Fire. I know I've already contradicted myself horribly in this post, but damn, they'll put on an incredible performance. I can't wait!